Never Have I Ever…

In life, we imagine ourselves at different points in our future—graduation, vacation, or even as merely eating one of our favorite desserts. For me, especially in these times, I love to envision myself on a beach where the water is almost still, and the soft waves reach against my toes in the sand.

While sometimes there is tingling at the back of my mind that I try to suffocate with a pillow. Suddenly my thoughts become blinded. Silent.

Never have I ever imagined my life at age THIRTY! It’s not like I have a personal vengeance against a number with a ‘big whole’ three and a zero behind it. I have thought about reaching the age, but never with life details. Don’t get me wrong. I do have life goals that go way beyond FIFTY. For many people, turning thirty years old is a significant milestone. While for others, it marks the end of youth – seeing it as the beginning of mature adulthood.

Society puts so much pressure on men and women about what they should attain by that age. They never look at what was “attained” over the years before the big “three zero.” If one should personally examine the life of someone coming from their teens into their early twenties and mid-twenties, we would see how that person has evolved.

Most persons groove their life during this period. It doesn’t have to be their dream job, but it’s probably their first job. It doesn’t have to be the worn clothing but the man or woman underneath who is trying to build themselves into whom they aspire to be. It doesn’t have to be the car they drive, but the motivation and consistency emplaced into getting that car.

There are so many things that happened before thirty; we should be grateful —for instance, the mid-life crisis at twenty-five or twenty-three.

The blatant truth is age is just a number. We have heard it numerous times. When we think of being thirty, we should feel accomplished, jobless, or working, rich or poor. The dirty thirty should celebrate us. The twenties have taught us so much that we should be grateful for, and most importantly, you are alive.

To all my 90’s babies, here is something for you ..

Eclipse

Ten thousand, nine hundred fifty

The days she spent on earth

In a world of unknown worth

A path of life unfolds

Blindfolded she strolls

………………………………….

She saw and concurred

Walked a mile and prospered

In a life of imperfection,

Soft patches over crater depression,

She journeyed, thirty years, along existence

………………………………….

Bliss, a summer’s eve

Torment, a shattered dream

If walls could speak

It would tell the trails of deceit

Beneath an eagle’s wings

…………………………………

She lived, she lost

But most of all she loved

Herself to know she’s enough

On a road that’s sometimes rough

She remained true to herself

Ten thousand, nine hundred and fifty days on mother earth